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10 Simple Rules for dating My Daughter |
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Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: ... [ read ] |
4.1 KB - Jul 3 2011 
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33 WAYS TO PISS PEOPLE OFF |
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1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage". ... [ read ] |
2.6 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Axis of Just as Evil |
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ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs Beijing (SatireWire.com) — Bitter after being snubbed ... [ read ] |
3.5 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Bauanleitung für eine Atombombe |
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1. Besorgen Sie sich zunächst etwa 100 Pfund (50 Kilo) waffengeeignetes Plutonium von Ihrem örtlichen Lieferanten. Ein Atomkraftwerk oder eine Wiederaufbereitungsanlage empfiehlt sich hierfüer nicht, ... [ lesen ] |
3.7 KB - Jul 3 2011 
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Brennendes Hamstergeschoss |
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Ein Tatsachenbericht aus der LA Times Im Nachhinein gesehen war der grosse Fehler das Streichholz anzuzuenden. Aber ich habe nur versucht den Hamster wieder zu kriegen," hat Eric Tomaszewski amusiert ... [ lesen ] |
3.9 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Disorder in the court |
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From a little book called Disorder in the Court. These are alledged to be excerpts from actual trial transcriptions, word for word: Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. ... [ read ] |
4.3 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Endlich ein wahrer Kettenbrief! |
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Hallo, mein Name ist Meike. Ich leide unter einigen sehr seltenen und natuerlich toedlichen Krankheiten: schlechte Klausur- und Examensergebnisse, extreme Jungfraeulichkeit und Angst davor, entfuehrt ... [ lesen ] |
4.0 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Germany's Internet Angst |
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by David Hudson Nearly a decade after the fall of the Wall that had so clearly defined two Germanys for 40 years, the reunified nation still shows symptoms of schizophrenia, and nowhere are the sympt ... [ read ] |
6.0 KB - Jul 3 2011
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How Engineers Spoil Everything - Even Christmas |
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There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this ... [ read ] |
3.4 KB - Jul 3 2011
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How to .com - Reality Check |
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An Open Response to Microsoft Sometimes, life's little ironies are just too funny for words. Consider an e-mail sent to reporters by Chuck Humble of Waggener-Edstrom, the long-time public relations a ... [ read ] |
25.9 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Is Your Son a Computer Hacker? |
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As an enlightened, modern parent , I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinkin ... [ read ] |
12.6 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Kindersprüche |
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WIE ENTSCHEIDET MAN, WEN MAN HEIRATET? Man muss jemanden finden, der die gleichen Sachen mag. Wenn du gerne Fussball hast, muss sie auch mögen dass du gerne Fussball hast und dann die Chips und das B ... [ lesen ] |
2.1 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Mail Trouble |
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Middle Manager mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12 Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."? I need it by tomorrow. ^D ... [ read ] |
0.4 KB - Jul 3 2011
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married to a lawyer |
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can tha ... [ read ] |
1.5 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Navyship |
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This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95 ... [ read ] |
1.1 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Notice of revocation of independence |
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NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notic ... [ read ] |
8.3 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Quotes (english) |
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An artist may visit a museum, but only a pedant can live there. - George Santayana (1863-1952) Life of Reason, 1905 Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teac ... [ read ] |
1.4 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Richter und Anwälte sind auch nur Menschen... |
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Dies sind Auszüge aus dem amerikanischen Buch "Disorder in the Court". Es sind Sätze, die tatsächlich so vor Gericht gefallen sind, Wort für Wort, aufgenommen und veröffentlicht von Gerichtsreportern. ... [ lesen ] |
3.3 KB - Jul 3 2011
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SPD-Witze |
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Vor dem Bundeskanzleramt ist ein Rentner auf den Ruecken gefallen. Schroeder hilft ihm auf. "Dafuer muessen sie naechstes Mal wieder SPD waehlen."Sagt der Rentner: "Guter Mann, ich bin auf den Ruecken ... [ lesen ] |
4.4 KB - Jul 3 2011
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The Bastard Operator from Hell |
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Gefunden auf einem neuseelaendischen FTP-Server zu einer Zeit, als die meisten von euch noch nicht mal wussten, dass man Komputer mit K schreibt. von Simon Travaglia ... [ lesen ] |
62.5 KB - Jul 3 2011
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The Good Wife Guide |
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Comment: I found this text on some webpage where it was titled "an actual extract from a Home Economics textbook printed in the early 60's" ... ... well ... seems like someone didn't get the subtle i ... [ read ] |
5.2 KB - Jul 3 2011
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The three laws of BOFHdom |
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The version by Chris King This version is also prefered by Steve VanDevender 1.) A BOFH must not destroy a useful[1] technology system, or through inaction allow useful technology to come to harm. No ... [ read ] |
2.1 KB - Jul 3 2011
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The true story inside the White House... |
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(We take you now to the Oval Office.) George : Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi : Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. ... [ read ] |
2.4 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Warum überquerte das Huhn die Straße? |
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Kindergärtnerin: Um auf die andere Straßenseite zu kommen. Plato: Für ein bedeutenderes Gut. ... [ lesen ] |
6.7 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Well, I'll be Damned! |
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The top ten reasons Eternal Damnation is better than Windows Software Development by John Walker, May 3rd, 1996 Number TEN ... [ read ] |
1.4 KB - Jul 3 2011
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What MCSE really stands for... |
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* Mad Consultants Slurping Ethanol * Madly Causing Slashdot Effect * Mail Consumed Somewhere in Exchange * Mainframe Computers Seemed Extinct * Maintenance Contracts Seem Expensive * Maintenance Costs ... [ read ] |
3.0 KB - Jul 3 2011
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White Christmas |
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8. Dezember 18:00 Es hat angefangen zu schneien. Der erste Schnee in diesem Jahr. Meine Frau und ich haben unsere Cocktails genommen und stundenlang am Fenster gesessen und zugesehen wie riesige, weiß ... [ lesen ] |
6.3 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Wie die populärsten Drogen wirken |
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KOKAIN Kokain, auch Fickpuder genannt, gilt als die Gesellschaftsdroge Nr. 1. Sie suggeriert dem Konsumenten, ein extrem gutaussehender, hoechst eloquenter Nobelpreistraeger mit der sexuellen Anziehun ... [ lesen ] |
11.7 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Wie man seine Mitmenschen zum Wahnsinn treibt... |
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Setze dich in der Mittagszeit in dein geparktes Auto und ziele mit einem Fön auf die vorbeifahrenden Autos, um zu sehen, ob sie langsamer fahren Ruf dich selbst über die Sprechanlage. (Verstelle dein ... [ lesen ] |
2.1 KB - Jul 3 2011
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You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long When... |
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...you want an elevator to the basement and begin looking for the "0" key, because 0 is less than 1. ...you are afraid to hit the snooze bar on your alarm clock too many times because you think that ... [ read ] |
3.4 KB - Jul 3 2011
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Zitate (deutsch) |
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Der Anfang aller Weisheit ist die Verwunderung. - Aristoteles (griech. Philosoph (384-322 v.Chr.)) Je gläubiger man in die Zukunft blickt, desto weniger hat man sich in der Vergangenheit umgesehen. ... [ lesen ] |
0.6 KB - Jul 3 2011
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