Well, I'll be Damned!
The top ten reasons Eternal Damnation is better than Windows
by John Walker, May 3rd, 1996
Hell: It never ends.
Windows: You think you're almost done, but you never really
Hell: You burn forever, but are not consumed.
Windows: Each update introduces new and improved tortures,
which slowly consume you.
Hell: Your fate is in the hands of Satan, Prince of
Windows: Your fate is in the hands of Gates, Prince of
Hell: Satan gives you something you want in return for being
Windows: Gates makes you buy Windows 95.
Hell: It is avoidable; an attractive, widely-marketed
alternative is available.
Windows: Resistance is futile. All the alternatives are
damned or doomed.
Hell: It is free.
Windows: You pay, and pay, and pay just to stay in the game.
Hell: Satan was once an angel.
Windows: Gates started by writing a BASIC interpreter.
Hell: Hell has no Windows.
Windows: Microsoft does.
Hell: You only pass the Gates of Hell one time.
Windows: The Gates of Microsoft keeps popping up everywhere
AND NUMBER ONE:
Hell: Satan sincerely believes in the triumph of Evil.
Windows: Gates just does it for the money.
Where do you want to go today?